GREAT LAUGHING JOKES -9

1.

A lady goes to the doctor’s office and tells the doctor that she can’t get her husband to have sex with her anymore. So, the doctor gives her some pills and says to give her husband one each night in his dinner whenever she wants to have sex. That night she gave him one and they had a decent night of sex. The next night she decided to try 4 pills and she had even better sex. Well the next night she tried 8 pills and the sex was wonderful. So the next night she decided to dump the whole bottle in his dinner. A few weeks later her son showed up at the doctor’s office and and said, “Doctor, Doctor, what did you do bart simpson mooningto my Daddy? My mom’s dead, my sister’s pregnant, my butt hurts, and my dad’s going around saying here kitty, kitty, kitty!”

2.SANTA AND THE BEGGAR

Santa Singh used to pass through a road while going home.There was a beggar sitting on the road.Whenever Santa used to pass through the road he used to give 1 rupee to the beggar.After a few years suddenly Santa stopped giving him 1 ruppe and started giving him 50 paise .The beggar was dissapointed but didn’t say anything to him.
Again after a year Santa started giving him 25 paise instead of 50 paise.The beggar got curious and asked Santa “BABUJI PEHLE AAP MUJHE 1 RUPAIYA DETE THE FIR MUJHE 50 PAISE DENE LAGE.AB ACHANAK 25 PAISE DE RAHE HO!!! KYA HUA BABUJI GAREEB KE PET PE LAAT KYON MAAR RAHE HO ?”
Santa replied “Bhai dekho pehle main akela rehta tha to mere uppar koi zimmedaari nahin thi.isliye main tumhe 1 rupaiya deta tha.fir meri shaadi ho gayi beewi agayi to kharccha badh gaya isliye tumko 50 paise dene laga aur ab mera beta ho gaya to isliye tumhe abse 25 paise diya karunga”
To this the beggar angrily retorted “ABE TO KYA APNE BIWI BACCHE KO MERE KHARCHE PE PAALEGA?”!!!!

3. IT’S A BOY!!!!!!!!

Santa Singh was waiting eagerly as his wife was delivering a baby .It was a very long wait for him.Finally the nurse came out holding the baby in her hands.Santa Singh holds the baby and starts shouting
” OYE PUTTAR HUA HAI “.
The nurse screams in an irritated voice “LEAVE MY FINGER YOU FOOL”

4. A SCARY HINT !!!!!

A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. Housewarming Party ! Invite your near/ dear ones to share this occasion with you.He decides to clean and serve the venison for supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won’t eat it if they know what it is so he does not tell them. His little boy keeps asking him, “What’s for supper?” “You’ll see”, says his dad. They start eating supper and his daughter keeps asking what they’re eating. “Ok,” says her dad, “here’s a hint, its what your mother sometimes calls me.” “We’re eating asshole!!”, she screams.

5. A FAREWELL PARTY TO REMEMBER


It was the mailman’s last day of the
Click to view clipart job after 35years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.When arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there,who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup’s bottom edge.

“All this was just too wonderful for words,” he said, “but what’s the dollar for?” “Well,” she said, “last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you.” He said, “Fuck him, give him a dollar.” The lady then said, “The breakfast was my idea.”

6. A TRIBAL DEATH man playing drum animated gif

Three explorers are captured by a tribe in the Amazon jungle. The chief is going to punish the intruders. He calls the first explorer to the front of the tribe and asks, “Death or Booka?!”. Well the explorer doesn’t want to die, so he opts for booka. The tribe starts screaming BOOKA! and dancing around. the cheif then rips the explorers pants off and fucks him in the ass.

The cheif calls the second explorer to the front and asks, “Death or Booka?!”. Well not wanting to die either, he opts for booka. The tribe again starts screaming BOOKA! and dancing around. The cheif rips the second guys pants off and fucks him in the ass.

The chief calls the third explorer to the front and asks, “Death or Booka?!”. Well the third guy has a little more self respect and thinks death would be better than being violated in front of hundreds of tribesman, so he opts for death. The chief turns to the tribe and screams “DEATH BY BOOKA!”