GREAT LAUGHING JOKES -6

1.Lord before I lay down to sleep,
I pray for a man who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong, one who’s willy’s thick and long.

One who thinks before he speaks,
When he says he’ll call I won’t wait for weeks,
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more,
Oh ! send me a man who will make love to my mind,
Knows just what to say when I ask,” how big’s my behind ?

One who’ll make love till my body is twichin,in the hall the john the garden the kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me no end
And never attempt to shag my best friend.

And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the wanker you sent me instead

2. A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. The priest asked "Who created the Earth and man?" The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, "GOD!" The Priest looked at him and said, "That's right."
Then he asked "Who is God's son?" Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, "Jesus Christ!" Again, the priest said, "Correct."

Finally, the priest asked, "What did Eve say to Adam when she didn't want any more children?" The knitter poked her husband again, but this time he screamed "Poke me with that thing one more time and I'm going to rip it off!" The priest smiled and said, "That's right."

3. Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back,

He says,"Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says,"Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up." After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! my hands are really freezing!"

She says again, "Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through the night. When he returns, he says again, "Honey, my hands are really, really freezing!"

She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?"

4. Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?

A - Almost Boobs
B - Barely there
C - Can Do
D - Damn good
E - Enormous
F - Fake

5.A girl goes to the doctor and takes off her shirt to be examined. On her chest she has a huge red 'H.'
The doctor asks, 'How did you get that red 'H' on your chest?'
She replies, 'My boyfriend goes to Harvard and he's so proud of his school that he never takes off his sweatshirt, even when we're making love.'
So the next day the doctor has to examine another girl and she takes off her shirt and has a huge blue 'Y' on her chest. The doctor asks, 'How did you get that blue 'Y' on your chest?'
The girl replies, 'My boyfriend goes to Yale and he's so proud of his school that he never takes off his sweatshirt, even when we're making love.'
The next day the doctor has to examine another girl and she takes off her shirt and she has a huge green 'M' on her chest. The doctor asks, 'Do you have a boyfriend who goes to Michigan?' and the girl replies, 'No, but I have a girlfriend who goes to Wisconsin. Why do you ask?'